"...the most important relationship to have is with yourself...because no matter what happens you will always be with yourself."

-Diane Von Furstenberg

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

read my mind

5 minutes ago i was in a good productive mood and then i got on facebook and looked at some new pictures cara put up. shes his best friends girlfriend who i love and am really bummed i dont get to see anymore. so now im sad. couldnt run tonight kailey couldnt go so were getting up nice and early to do it in the morning. yayyyy....not yay. ugh im tired of this i dont feel like im getting any faster and they make my lungs hurt. maybe it will be easier in the morning. im suppose to hang out with haley and kailey tomorrow and tye dye shirts then kailey will spend the night. which is always fun. i love kailey i do but honestly i havent been able to take hearing her talk about colby all the time not like just normal comments but its like he has been gone a lot lately so about every 5 seconds she says i miss him or hes gone or why isnt he texting me back. im just yelling in my head "GOD!!! you know he and i broke up you know im not over it you know i miss him and you know i would do anything to get him back. atleast you can still talk to colby." when he and i text its nothing. crapy conversation. if i had known that night would have screwed us over this bad i would go back and never let it happen. i would do anything to go back. go back with what i know now and prevent the breakup from ever happening but i cant. so im still single. and kailey still complains about colby. and i still want to punch her in the face everytime she says something like that. but i cant. we are best friends and im suppose to listen and help her deal with her problems just like she listens and helps me with mine. so i will continue to shut up listen and silently wish for her to just stop talking. wow...kailey, you might be reading this soooo dont take it personally, i was venting. UGHHHH well now im going to work on my english so i can get my mom off my jock about it.

frustratedly yours,

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